After travelling for more than 2 weeks, Ishanka Lottie, of the New Delhi Press somehow managed to track down the elusive "Snake", aka "Worm" at a Czechoslovakian midget ranch.
Once the 13 tea cup Chihuahua's had finished licking the bacon fat from his nether regions the interview went down like this.
Il - What have you been up to these last few months Snake?
S - Givin the pups a work out every day, tryin the blazer on, breedin the midgets, you know workin on the sneaky shit.
IL - Any comments on the Hall of Fame inductees or the Eastern Captaincy issue?
S - Well "Hall of Fame" kinda speaks for itself right, overdue possibly, but 'just' never the less.
The "Captaincy" issue was really a non issue, I may be new on tour but there has only ever been one "Captain" of the Eastern contingency, and he still is.
IL - Thoughts on this years Ridher Tray & Purple Blazer events to be held this fall?
S - Disappointed that I can't take my dogs with me, they don't travel well. Other than that, it'll be a tough grind, they are good, we know that much, but are they good enough? If they happen to get a couple of Hitlers, a Saddam Hussein, maybe a Glen Miller or two, follow that with some Salman Rushdie's, and we throw some O. J. Simpson's at them, we should be OK.
IL - I'm going to throw some names of the Eastern Bloc at you, give us some insight.
S - K
IL - Ninja
S - F*#kin scary, him and me were puttin on a short game clinic in the Laotian Jungle for some under privileged kids a while back, when this tiger comes out of the jungle after the kids right, Ninja just stares at this tiger, he stops dead in his tracks, shits himself, bolts back into the jungle, the tiger that is.
How would you like to face that on the first tee. I didn't know that he was a porn star though. and that slammin me crap, coming from the guy who puts himself out against GWARF just so he can get a win, weak effort.
IL - What about "Auto"?
S - Why do you think he has that name, asshole, he's f*#kin automatic, prince of a man too.
Just don't understand why he started the "Asterisk" thingy about me and the Blazer, that f#*kin hurt deep down inside, 4.79342 inches away from my manbrane. He's under a-lot of pressure, a ton of questions in that camp, let me tell you.
IL - Anyone else you would like to comment on?
S - F*#k you, you goat raping half breed.
IL - Thank you.
IL - What is on the horizon for the "Snaken One".
S - F#*k all, workin on my game, workin on the mental stuff, i'm not mental enough, gotta work on that, the mental part you know? Needs work. Get ready for the first major of the year, knock off a couple of wins, roll out East and tee it up.
IL - I am all out of questions.
S - Have you ever been with a midget?
IL - No.
S - Come with me my innocent one, come with me.